Trust the Liar: A Small Town Romantic Suspense Novel (Lucy Falls) by E.R. Whyte

Author:E.R. Whyte [Whyte, E.R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Whyte House Publications
Published: 2023-07-05T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Cotton

December 03

Dear Shiloh,

I almost pulled the plug today.

I know this is going to piss you off, and I despise myself for even thinking about it. But I have to be honest, both with you and myself.

Otherwise, this is pointless.

It’s Thursday night, a couple of hours after duty, and I’m taking a bath. Glass of wine sitting on the toilet beside the tub, a mellow playlist on my Bluetooth.

My phone’s in my hand, and I’m scrolling Facebook, trying to get back to normal. It’s been a good two weeks since The Incident, the bruises have faded, and I need to move on.

So, I’m sitting there on Facebook, “Hallelujah” playing in the background, and suddenly I come across this post.

You remember Krystal? That chick hated us. She thought you were hot for Sean in high school, and that was all she wrote, so to speak.

There was this picture of her and some guy I didn’t know, and they were holding up an ultrasound photo. They were smiling these huge, shit-eating grins at each other, and it was obvious—they were so fucking happy.

I clicked out of Facebook and just stared at the black screen of my phone. It wasn’t fair. I used to let myself feel this sense of superiority toward her—purely because she was a bitch, mind you—for working at Karla’s. For not doing anything with her life.

And here she was, knocked up and thrilled about it, and I was so jealous I could die.

I realized, in that moment, that the job didn’t matter. She had everything I’ve ever wanted. Someone who loves me.

A baby on the way.

I don’t think I ever really told you how much the idea of those things in some distant future held me together as a kid. It wasn’t something I conceptualized, even for myself.

And yet it was always there, this yearning to be loved in a way I never had been. To love a child the way I should have been.

I know it’s only been a couple of weeks. Theoretically, I understand the process of healing is going to take some time. Michael told me all of this. (He also told me to find a therapist and talk to someone when I got home, so there’s that.) But at that moment, looking at that photo, all I understood was emptiness. The chances of me having that one day, of being able to trust a man enough to let him in... slim to nonexistent, Shy.

And so I held my phone in my hand, and just for a minute or two, allowed myself to wonder what would happen if I dropped it in the water. It was connected to my charger, you see, which was plugged into an outlet. Would it kill me?

Would it hurt?

Did it matter?

I’m ashamed to say I pondered this for way longer than I should have and finally decided electrocution would be unnecessarily painful. I threw the phone across the bathroom, took a sip of wine, and then slid beneath the surface of the water.

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